A Chicago Getaway, Summer 2010

I expected to see a few famous people during a recent visit to Chicago. Coach Ditka- didn't even see one of his restaurants. Rob Blogojevich- he's been super busy lately, apparently. Cousin Larry and Balki Bartokomous- not available, I was told. The closest I came to fame was watching Transformers 3 shoot scenes throughout the city. That's also the closest I'll ever come to watching a Transformers movie. Nerds.

Despite the lack of celeb sightings, my better half and I loved our first trips to Chicago. We booked a great deal at the new Hotel Palomar in the River North section of town and never looked back.

Here's what we did.

- Wine Hour at the Palomar, which is free and happens every day, 5-6pm.

- Deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's, after walking in the wrong direction for about an hour.

- Drinks on the Wit Hotel roof, which provided us a great city view.

- Breakfast at Xoco, by famous Chicago restaurateur Rick Bayless.

- Cubs/Phils at Wrigley Field, complete with pregame beers at Bernie's and a Chicago-style hot dog from the concessions.

- Pre-show Mexican dinner in the Old Town neighborhood.

- Second City show, during which we sat in the front row and I was referred to as "Nacho Guy" by the cast. I probably deserved a credit in the program book.

- Architecture tour on the Chicago River, during which our tour was delayed so Transformers stunt men could parachute out of a helicopter.

- Walks through Millennium and Grant Parks, which included lunch and a free concert.

- The tourist trap formerly known as Sears Tower, now called Willis Tower. Cool to see all the views from the top in every direction but the hour-long wait on a Saturday is rough. Add in crying children everywhere and insanity is sure to set in.

- Dinner at Vivo, an Italian joint in the West Loop neighborhood.

- Nightcap at the Palomar bar.

- Brunch at Yolk, a diner that's worth the wait on a Sunday morning.

- Navy Pier, which we really didn't explore because we were hot/tired.

And that's it. The people were friendly. The architecture was impressive. The green space was surprisingly overflowing. And with a beach on Lake Michigan, I can go back to Chi-town every summer.

Chicago, in pictures.

An open letter to all Phillies fans

Hi there. I'm just as upset as you are. But for Peter's sake, stop jumping off bridges. You look silly. One four-game winning streak and you're frolicking through the forest singing show tunes. One four-game losing streak and you're setting fires to your neighbor's house and car. You do realize this franchise has won three consecutive division titles, two straight pennants, a world fuckin championship, and saved countless puppies and kittens, right?

What the hell did you expect? They're not immune to injuries. They can't hit .300 for six straight months, and it was only a matter of time before the beard turned evil on its master. I realize that forums like radio shows, blogs, and the dinner table exist to complain about things such as this. However, you aren't the general manager (but you surely think you'd do a better job than the current) and Cliff Lee is not the friend you can drunkenly text things that are questionable for one man to say to another. (We all know Ruben does it, though.) Not sure where I was going with that last sentence.

Actually, yes I am.

He's not coming back. He's playing in another country called Texas. Next season, Clifton will pitch for a team called either the Yankees or Red Sox. Be thankful he played it cool during last year's World Series and stop crying you fool. (I miss him soooo much.)

Spare me the Braves-won-14-straight-division-titles talk. It wasn't that hard to accomplish playing against guys named Rico Brogna, Desi Relaford and Mike Lieberthal 18 times a year. Remember those days? I hope I never have to type those names again.

I've tried to get through the season without writing this but it's gone too far. People who call themselves fans are throwing in the towel this season. That's a shame. This is the time when the team needs you behind them, on your feet for all nine innings, pushing little kids out of the way for foul balls, you know what I mean? Good old-fashioned fandom.

The 2010 season is not over for the Phillies. I hope they make another run. But if they don't, what can we, the fans, do? We can keep complaining and sound like a typical Mets fan. Or we can chalk it up as a season filled with some bad luck and sit in silence the entire off-season. The Phillies haven't had too much of it the last few years.

Lastly, I love parentheses.