Dongtober

Believe it or not, I haven't seen Brett Favre's penis. Millions of others have, for whatever reason. To compare? I don't know. Insert old man balls hang ridiculously low joke here.

When Deadspin broke the dongtastic story last week, it finally achieved its life-long dream of bringing down the Vikings QB/Wrangler jeans spokesperson. Kudos. Sarcastic clap. What took you so long? Problem is, this story won't ever go away, much like Favre himself, it seems. And now there's mention of his genitals when I turn on the TV, surf the world wide web, hop in a cab, talk to my mom, etc.

Over the last five or so years, we've become increasingly tired of hearing about a QB whose best days are behind him. We get it already. He's tough. He's having fun. He's playing like a kid out there. Well, he also loves throwing interceptions in big games (e.g., last season's NFC Championship loss to New Orleans). But as the news broke and the stories about the Old Gunslinger's junk piled up, I longed for the days when we talked about how much of a choke artist he's been lately. I wanted to reminisce about how disappointing he was in one season with New York in 2008, when he threw 22 interceptions and broke the hearts of J-E-T-S fans. But all anyone wants to discuss now is what he has downstairs. And that brings tears to my eyes. Sad tears.

Thank you, Deadspin, for covering what anyone else could have covered but left it alone so we wouldn't have nightmares about it. More importantly, thank you for reminding us that sexting = bad idea.